This last week, I have been a whirlwind of emotions. It’s really rather bizarre, but 5 months post-treatment, perhaps just where I’m at at the moment.
I think... correction... know that the fear of recurrence has been playing a rather large role in this current emotional state. Suspicious symptoms have been rearing their ugly head and so it’s been back to the hospital for appointments, bloods and soon to be scans. As always, there are possible (and dare I say it, likely) non-sinister explanations, but everything needs to be checked.
I feel as though I’ve lived with the fear of recurrence ever since my second op, but this is a slightly new scenario. Now I’m actually getting tests because of symptoms, not just as check-ups. I thought I’d be petrified at this, and maybe tomorrow or the next day I will be, but right now I feel a strange calmness. The care I’ve received from the hospital at this particular stage has been just to my liking – quick and easy access to my consultant, tests arranged promptly as well as arrangements in place ahead of time for some of the results.
Is this just me getting better at understanding the system and how to navigate it, or my doctor's understanding me better now too? I’m not sure, but I like it lots, and it’s amazing just how much this helps when facing what could potentially be another huge blow. Positive vibes please. I’ll keep you posted!
Read all of Jane Knight's entries on our blog.
"My whole world turned upside down when i was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in June 2012. It’s been a massively steep learning curve for both me and those closest to me. I'm hoping that writing this blog will help me work through the necessary adjustments in my life, and provide a chance to keep those that are interested up-dated with my progress. Just so you know, I'm writing under a pseudonym because i want to protect my close friends and family. So, here i am. Jane Knight"
Jane's views are her own and not endorsed by Target Ovarian Cancer staff. We do, however, strongly recommend that you seek professional advice on your personal circumstances.